God, family, and Sarah Palin

What to make of Sarah Palin…? Last night’s performance at the RNC was pretty incredible for the amount of “change” she represents for the Grand Old Party. Yes (she can!), she proved that women can make it (almost) to the top while juggling family and moose-hunting season – something other women (Democrats and Republicans) have already done, certainly, but now it’s no longer a “sacrifice” or a “trade-off” (or worse, just plain wrong). Now it’s a badge of honor. Bring it on!

It’s also now apparently OK to have a messed-up family, with a DUI husband who burns precious fossil fuels in pursuit of long-distance snowmobile championships, and a daughter who managed to miss mom’s messages about abstinence, underage drinking, and lord knows what else, and get herself pregnant with self-professed “redneck” who’s known around town as “sex on skates” and who professed on his now blocked MySpace page to not want kids. I suppose when Levi hits Bristol in a drunken rage or leaves her after changing one too many diapers, Palin can add “mother of an underage single mom” to her resume too. It’s all good, eh?

Then there’s Palin’s outspoken affirmation that we’re on a mission from God in our fight in Iraq – just as we are, apparently, in our pursuit of more oil in Alaska. Makes you wonder about the God who’s inspiring the Muslims warriors. Whose guy is right? And then what?

And then there’s Palin’s savvy media manipulation, in one breath (another example of superwomanly multitasking?) scolding and warning the evil media to leave her family matters private, then proceeding (next breath) to introduce dad and the kids one by one to the TV camera so they could smile sheepishly and wave, then pass baby Tigger, or Trigger, from one to the next. (Did you catch the littlest girl licking his hair like a cat…cute, but icky!) Not to project too far into the future, or to ill effect, but what happens if Palin’s oldest son, Trick, or is it Truck?, goes off to war, gets wounded or (God forbid, since he is OUR God) killed… will that elevate Palin to American Hero status for her “ultimate sacrifice”? Plays like a Lifetime movie, doesn’t it?

You have to hand it to John McCain. While some news reports (in the evil media, of course) are saying he picked an obscure governor from a remote state to thumb his nose at the Republican Guard, I mean party leadership, for trying to force some inside-the-beltway VP choices on him, let’s give him a credit for selecting a running mate who hits nearly every hot-button issue (well, let’s not talk about that “experience” thing, OK?) – working class, mothers, babies, disabled people, oil, religion, military, government spending, corruption, foreign relations (remember, Alaska IS right next to Russia, so who really knows them better?), women, children, sex, abortion, gun control, small-town values, the evil media … gosh, the list is endless. What a brilliant choice! OK, fine, so he didn’t learn about the pregnant-daughter thing until after he’d picked Palin because she exercised her right to choose not mention it during the three-hour, 40-page job application process. Hey, some things work out for the best, right? Just proves what a terrific decision-maker, political strategist, and free-thinker he is… and with God on his side too. How can he lose?