Mean boys?

One of my side activities is as a parent rep on our school advisory council. During a meeting today about the school improvement plan for next year, the discussion turned to middle school socialization issues... namely bullying, inappropriate text messaging, teasing, and just what is the difference between some of these behaviors as a normal part of kids growing up and when it turns into a pattern of behavior that warrants attention by school officials or parents.

A big blind spot at our school is over girls versus boys. Perhaps this betrays a pattern of its own, developed over many years, during which women were in all positions of command -- principal, vice principal, guidance counselors, aides, most teachers... Somehow, concerns over "mean girls" got attention via lunch groups, visits from teen counselors, mentoring activities, and the like. Meanwhile, the boys were left to fight it out on the playground, or across the lunch table, or in the local parks. "Boys will be boys" has been the prevailing attitude, usually accompanied by a shrug.

Finally, there seems to be some creeping recognition of a need to look at both halves of the classroom. Parents are asking for a guide to middle school, both in terms of social issues and the shifts in curriculum and academic demands. Curiosity is being raised by the new principal's drafting of a bullying policy. And though they are still infrequent visitors, more parents of boys are showing up at PTO meetings to learn what they can from other parents and from school officials. It's a long way still from open recognition that boys need as much help -- just different help -- as girls in learning how to get along, figure out their pecking order, and help each other grow up. But it's a start.

Recommended reading:
The Minds of Boys: Saving Our Sons From Falling Behind in School and Life by Michael Gurian and Kathy Stevens